Stuck in your head
by Godsliltippy
Summary: Gordon has to deal with some issues after his crash in Thunderbird 4 and Virgil is the lucky brother to help him through.


A hum, bright and soft. That's how it always started. Virgil hadn't noticed Gordon singing to himself until the second time out with the newly reinstated aquanaut. He'd considered it as one of Gordon's acquired habits after being stuck so long on the island. Nothing to worry about. His brother was okay.

This was the fifteenth rescue they'd been on together in as much as a month and the tune had popped up again, grating itself against Virgil's worn out nerves. Maybe it was simply because he felt like he knew the song and couldn't place it. Or the fact that it never changed.

So, with more annoyance than was warranted, he cut off the noise what a low, "why do you keep singing that?"

"Hmm?" Gordon looked up from his controls, confusion pulling at his brow. "I was singing?"

"Humming - whatever. You've been humming the same tune for the past month." He growled, though Gordon seemed unaffected. "What is it?"

Mouth opening to answer, he gradually let it shut, Gordon's usual spunk replaced by hesitancy. "Um - it's, uh… just something that gets stuck in my head sometimes."

"But I feel like I know it," Virgil breathed, trying to calm himself from what he recognized as an overreaction. He was tired and hungry. He shouldn't be taking it out on his brother. "It's just driving me crazy trying to figure it out."

"Oh, uh, sorry. I'll try not to hum it anymore." Gordon offered before returning to his post-rescue flight checks. Virgil watched him for a moment and caught the nervous twitch of the amber eyes that sent an alert that everything wasn't okay.

"You don't have to stop, Gordo," the bite was gone as his concern grew. "Just curious what you're singing."

Gordon grinned as he shook his head, "It's nothin', really. Just an annoying earworm that you really don't want getting stuck in _your_ head."

The alarms intensified sharply and the elder brother hit the autopilot, turning as much as he could to look at the aquanaut who was trying to busy himself with nothing.

"Gordon."

"Virgil."

He sighed, reaching across to take hold of an arm that was aimed at more switches. "Enough, Gordon. What's wrong?"

Gordon pulled his arm back, scrubbing at his eyes. "It's - it's really nothing, Virg."

"Except it's not." Their eyes finally met and reality was confirmed. "Out with it."

"You'll think it's stupid." Gordon tried once more, only managing to encourage Virgil's drive to find out what was wrong.

"When has that ever stopped you?" The engineer grinned as a laugh involuntarily broke away a bit of Gordon's resolve.

A moment passed before he finally spoke. "Braman."

One brow rose and Virgil wonder if he'd heard right, but then, something clicked and he realized that was the connection. "Braman's song?" Gordon nodded. "Wow, I'd forgotten all about it."

Another laugh, more weary than amused. "Wish I could."

Virgil frowned, pushing the memory of the robot away to focus on the struggle he still witnessed in his brothers features. "It's not just a song stuck in your head, huh?"

Their eyes met again and the desire to fix whatever was plaguing Gordon became overwhelming. The blonde seemed to deflate as it became obvious he wasn't getting out of this explanation with ease or a flippant 'nothing to worry about'. He'd been caught and now it was just letting everything out.

He started with a breath, drawing it in before sending it out with the first of his admissions. "It's the last thing I can remember… y'know - before the crash."

A thick silence engulfed them, Virgil's tongue growing uncoordinated as his brain sought out a word - anything - to alleviate the trauma they both held too close to their chests. Gordon was okay. He was healthy and whole. The crash was a memory that didn't need to resurface, yet it still found ways. Whether it was the crutch still leaning against the wall of Gordon's bedroom closet or the x-rays virgil had filed in his personal archive, they couldn't completely forget it had happened.

He swallowed past the lump in his throat and cleared it with an awkward cough. "That - uh, sounds pretty rough. Need help getting rid of it?"

Gordon gave a halfhearted shrug, returning his attention to his consoles. "Not sure I'll ever get it out."

"What have you tried?" Virgil dug in a bit more, not willing to let this go.

"Uh, other than ignoring it? I've tried listening to Braman's recording, but that -" he visibly shuddered, unable to stop it before the engineer could see. "Not my best idea."

"What about a different version of it?" It was an offer met with a skeptical frown. "Really, if it's Braman's song that's bothering you, we need to find one from someone else. Might give you an easier version to get rid of."

Another moment of hesitation, one so unlike his little brother, but it flitted away as a smile tugged at his lips. "Couldn't hurt to try, I guess."

That was all Virgil needed to pull up a search for the song in question. The old sea shanty was familiar enough to have a multitude of options. He wasn't completely sure which one would be best, but as he scrolled, he found the image of an older gentleman holding a guitar. Something about him felt comforting, appropriate for what Gordon needed to hear.

As the soft sounds of the guitar began to fill his 'bird's cockpit, they both turned their gaze to the sky in front of them. Words that had been absent from Braman's song gave Virgil's mind pause to wonder if he had picked the correct one, but as he recognized the underlying melody he calmed. This would help. It was different in more than just who was singing.

The first chorus of 'sailing, sailing' came and went, the older brother glancing at the younger. "Anything else bothering you?"

Gordon sighed, not meeting his eyes. "It's dumb."

"Nope. Not at all." This time Gordon turned and caught the exasperated look on Virgil's face.

Gordon shook his head, but there was a soft smile as the music continued. "Kinda wish I could remember what happened. Like… Was there something else I could've done? Maybe gone a different way or hid? Is this all my fault?" 

Virgil hadn't expected to deal anything this heavy, but that's how Gordon worked. He would stay light and cheery until everything built up, falling on whoever happened to be around when it did. He had the answers for today, however.

"Gordon, nothing that happened was your fault. We've all seen the local feeds from Thunderbird 4. You did everything you could. There was no way to predict they'd drop a mountain on you. And without Braman -" there was no need for expanding on that massive contribution.

The chorus struck up again to fill the blonde's silence. A hand absently ran through his hair and Virgil wondered if Gordon had ever been this quiet. It was unnerving to say the least. He would give anything for one of his mind numbing jokes.

"Yeah," Gordon started, sounding as though he wanted to be convinced. "I guess… I just wish it hadn't taken so much."

That, Virgil could understand. The toll the crash had taken didn't just fall on Gordon. The rest of the family had lost years on their lives and sprouted a few gray hairs in the hectic time that had past after the alarm had sounded. Then there was the hospital, Gordon so still as they waited for him to wake up from surgery. After that was the months of him just trying to get around and be involved in everything, no matter how limited he was. The physical therapy. The emotional. Months of treatment that could have been avoided had he not gone after Braman.

But Dad…

"I know," Virgil's hand crossed the space between them, catching his brother's wrist once more and giving it a reassuring squeeze before it slid away and Gordon took the hand. He needed that lifeline to let him know he wasn't alone in all of this. "Hey, how about this -"

The song had reached the final chorus, the man's voice light as he sang.

"- _when_ we find Dad," because they refused to think otherwise, "you get the credit for Braman and getting the signal to Brains."

Gordon's face scrunched with the desire to protest. "Virg, that was all Kayo. The Hood would've had him if it weren't for her."

The engineer shook his head, "And where would Braman have been if you didn't go out to get him?"

As the pieces visibly clicked into place, Gordon met his gaze. "I guess… He'd still be down there. Or the Hood would've found him."

Virgil nodded. "See, without what you did, we wouldn't have Braman and we would never have known what really happened to Dad." Another squeeze of Gordon's hand on his. "You did that, Gordon. "

A shimmer caught in the sunlight shining through the window, blinked away in a second and a genuine and grateful smile found its way onto the younger man's face. "Thanks, Virg."

"Any time, Squirt." They turned their attention back to the sky, both feeling at peace as the simple tune drew to an end.

_For many a stormy wind shall blow ere Jack comes home again._


End file.
